Trump as a blimp

#TrumpTheology on money

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The #TrumpTheology tweets, as revealed to Alexandra Coe

The more I read the Bible (I listen to the audiobook by Kanye) the more stupid Jesus looks. Why did he get so pissed off about the Money Changers? First of all you can’t ‘change money’. Money is money, unless you’re talking about the Stock Market (Very Strong!!!) or Currency which is a totally different thing.

You can also change money by putting it in an LLC or an offshore account, or you don’t even have to use money, just don’t pay what you owe anybody, that way you never see it. You can even change Money into a Favor, or into absolutely Nothing, which I’ve done millions of times.

Also, Jesus was not Practical. He let all that Massage oil go to Waste when he let that woman smear it all over him (people don’t know the real reason for that, but I do!! I’ve used it a lot!) That oil is Very Expensive, Believe Me!! All you need is a little bit just like they told Jesus.

Also, Jesus praised that Widow who only put one coin in the box. Cheapskate!! It was her fault if she was poor. If she had hooked up with the Right Person right after her husband died she would have had No Problem. The Rich guy was much more generous!

The dumbest thing is that saying about not having treasures on earth where ‘moths and rust consume.’ That is flat Wrong!! Moths can’t eat quarters and dimes and nickels, which never get Rusty, plus all you need is a few mothballs. None of my money is Cash anyway!!! Even if you have cash you can wrap it up in Plastic which lasts Forever. No rust or moths. Problem Solved!!! And Safe Deposit boxes, nothing gets in there!! Jesus should have taken a course in Business Administration! Very Dumb about Money!!!

Photo: Brigadier Chastity Crispbread

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