Trump as a blimp

#TrumpTheology on Jesus

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The #TrumpTheology tweets, as revealed to Alexandra Coe

Crazy Jesus Christ was a real Sucker and a Loser. Who lets themselves get Crucified like that??? Weak, NOT a Winner!!!! I like people who aren’t Crucified. Plus he was offered the deal of a lifetime, all the kingdoms of the world, and he choked like a Dog!!! Could have been rich like me, HIS fault he was homeless.

I heard he’d been a carpenter, and quit. Carpenters aren’t that bright, I’ve stiffed more carpenters than you know!!! He also went around touching filthy people and that woman with blood coming out of her wherever. Disgusting!!!

Don’t get me wrong, I love the Evangelicals. But this ‘repentance’ thing is a Hoax!! I’ve never apologized for anything in my life!!!! Jesus pretended to be good but it was all Fake News, nothing ‘Good’ about it! I even held the Bible that one time and he’s never once thanked me.

He didn’t protect ME from the Radical Left. Why didn’t he tell that guy who was a pilate that he was the King? Missed Opportunity!!! I just lost on the back nine, what God would allow that??? Worst God Ever!

Photo: Brigadier Chastity Crispbread

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