Photo of rapture greeting cards

Post-rapture greeting cards

Posted in Junk for Jehovah


Let’s face it. As the global financial system crashes, the Rapture can’t be long delayed. Which makes now an excellent time to put your affairs in order and get ready for your ascent into the clouds of heaven. But while you’re doing that, spare a thought for your wicked unbelieving friends and relatives who are going to be Left Behind™.

Thanks to a new service, the Post-Rapture Post, you can now leave them a greeting card, to be delivered after the Rapture, saying hi and bye, and explaining the way of salvation.

But how will the card be delivered, since all the Christians will have gone? The answer is simple. The Post-Rapture Post is run by atheists, who will ensure your cards are actually delivered. But why are they offering this service, when they don’t believe? “I need the money to support my sinful lifestyle,” explains one of the site’s founders.

Order your cards before you go. Only $7.99 a card!

Tat Queen

Tat Queen

Collector of junk for Jehovah, knickknacks for nirvana, gadgets for God, baubles for Beelzebub... and the whole wonderful world of holy hardware.

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