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105: All Saints, Crewe, England
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All Saints Crewe
Mystery Worshipper: Swiss Toni.
The church: All Saints, Crewe, England.
Denomination: Church of England.
The building: Modern black and brown brick-built church, hall and vicarage, all in one. Distinctive square interior, with the santuary and altar in the centre of the building. Unattractive from the outside, but a very nice, bright interior.
The neighbourhood: The church is in a residential part of the town.
The cast: Rev Margaret Saville.
What was the name of the service?
Family Eucharist.

How full was the building?
We estimated one-fifth full.

Did anyone welcome you personally?
Yes, the minister. Had the usual handshake and "nice to see you" from the hymn book and notices hander-outers.

Was your pew comfortable?
Yes. Ergonomically designed for posteriors.

How would you describe the pre-service atmosphere?
Quiet and friendly.

What were the exact opening words of the service?
"Good morning, everybody. Lovely to see you all."

What books did the congregation use during the service?
"Mission Praise 1."

What musical instruments were played?

Did anything distract you?
Graffiti written in the front of my copy of "Mission Praise", which read: "Jonathan Wareham is a pratt."

Was the worship stiff-upper-lip, happy clappy, or what?
Middle of the road Anglican – happy-clappy choruses without the charismatic atmosphere and theology.

All Saints, Crewe - interior of the church

Exactly how long was the sermon?
12 minutes.

On a scale of 1-10, how good was the preacher?

In a nutshell, what was the sermon about?
"In whom is our confidence?"

Which part of the service was like being in heaven?
The relaxed atmosphere.

And which part was like being in... er... the other place?
I found the organ playing rather torturesome, as did my companions. Too slow on fast songs; too fast on slow songs, and very, very loud.

What happened when you hung around after the service looking lost?
Being known by the minister, and a couple of others, we were talked to quite promptly. A few folk we had not met before also introduced themselves to us and pointed out a few church facilities.

How would you describe the after-service coffee?
It was foul. The two of us who had it both commented that it was among the most gross coffee we ever tasted.

How would you feel about making this church your regular (where 10 = ecstatic, 0 = terminal)?

Did the service make you feel glad to be a Christian?
Yes, on this occasion the welcome was warm, and it was very relaxed.

What one thing will you remember about all this in seven days' time?
The location of the sanctuary and altar – I love the theology it implies. God is not remote at the far end of the church in a little cupboard, but dwells right in the middle of his people.

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